Staying connected can be the most difficult thing in a marriage. In this day and age, people seem more connected with their phones. It’s sad. Aaron and I try to not be like that, but we're just like everyone else. We make mistakes and feel the disconnect caused by them. Recently, a girlfriend asked me how Aaron and I stay connected as a couple. I had to confess we've not been champions all the time. We're still working on it. One thing we've found is even the littlest things can create good connection.
Here are some tips which work for us:
Read together: Our favorite times to read are right before bed and early in the morning. We keep whatever book we’re reading on the nightstand.
Reading together is a peaceful activity. It's almost guaranteed there will no fighting, lol! When we read, we’re able to relax with each other. I also love hearing Aaron’s voice while he’s reading. It’s so soothing! Reading helps us get off our phones and spend quality time. Reading is always a great option!
Cook a meal as a team: Although I love to do kitchen activities solo, something special happens when Aaron and I cook together. Maybe it’s the fact Aaron likes to put on his “chef hat” and uses one of his silly voices. He makes me laugh! I never know what to expect.
In the end, even if Aaron is just cutting veggies for me, he makes cooking more fun. I love seeing a yummy recipe come to completion with his help. Plus the goofy grin on his face at the end makes it so worth it.
Pray together: It’s important to stay grounded in your beliefs. As we grow up and get more involved in our professional lives, we may think those beliefs are not as important anymore.They are. Praying together helps us stay grounded + bring us closer together. Prayer helps us realize there's something deeper binding us together.
Go on rad “date nights or days”: We love going out and exploring our great city! From walking the streets and going to our favorite restaurants to seeing a movie or a play, we love to explore.
Even if we just take a walk outside our apartment, connection happens. We talk about buildings, interesting sights or corners of our neighborhood we've never noticed. Anything can be a date or a chance to connect. All you need is a willing imagination.
A hug, kiss or other fun stuff: You want it. He wants it. Just do it. You will both feel amazing afterwards + you probably both needed it. The end.
Clean the house: This is less glamorous for sure, but we make it fun! We do what’s called the 30 minute power clean. It’s basically just both of us cleaning all we can for 30 minutes. We get competitive. Cleaning gets done. The best part is seeing all your hard work pay off in the end. Plus I love seeing Aaron cleaning frantically to try to catch up. Haha!
Talk things out: This is what I think is the most important factor in staying connected. If you have a problem, chat it out. Don’t leave it alone. This can be horrible for a marriage. I see Aaron as my best friend. Trust is there. Critical judgment should not be (I really have to remember this).
Talking things out is always best. Try to avoid nitpicking or complaining. I had to learn this early on in our marriage. Talking things out calmly is the best medicine. It brings us together and makes our connection complete.