Imperfect me.

My head is full of imperfections. My mind says I will screw everything up, so why try? It says you will never be as successful as her, or as beautiful. It screams "YOU SUCK BRYNN!!!”…you just aren’t enough.  But you know what? I say NO to that inner voice inside my head CAUSE IT’S LYING. 

When I have these thoughts of second guessing myself, I feel like everyone is judging me, laughing at me, being mean to me while toasting to my screw-ups over their champagne. But that’s just not the case. People are just as insecure as you, even if they seem like they have it all together. People are thinking “oh, gosh, I hope I don’t have a huge piece of spinach in my teeth”. Guaranteed. 

One thing I can assure you is that every day I feel insecure in one way or another. Will I mess up this project? Am I styling this gal right? Do I have a piece of toilet paper stuck on my shoe?! Doubts seem to clog up my mind so much sometimes I have to make myself rest. It’s just too much for my brain to handle. 

This has been going on for years now. When I was in high school I struggled with horrible acne. It was so painful and made me so fearful and insecure. I was wearing a lot of makeup to cover it up and was on so many topical and internal medicines from my dermatologist. I’m sure you can imagine having massive red spots on your face really didn’t help my teen years. I struggled through these years with a fair load of stress. I also had really bad cystic acne on my back which was so embarrassing when wearing a bathing suit. 

Lately though I have learned to be more kind to myself. I have said so many negative things to myself in my head throughout the years, so I decided to start telling myself “hey lady, you are AWESOME, you can do this thing, you are going to rock the heck out of this.” I was amazed how just giving myself a pat on the back or thinking happy thoughts about myself really made all the difference. I feel more joy—lighter in a way, perhaps. It is a pretty rad feeling to have. 

We could all use just a tad more positivity in our lives. 

This Post is created in conjunction with the ladies of The Refined Collective. Be sure and read the other articles today by:  Jackie Viramontez, Julien Garman, Sarah Shreves, Tutti del Monte, Lauren Scruggs and The Refined Woman.  Also, join us over on instagram today under #therefinedcollective to see what everyone else has to say on this topic.